Expensive Abby: I can’t cease stalking the social media of boyfriend’s ex
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 45-year-old lady who has been relationship “Ben” (53) for 2 years. Now we have identified one another for greater than 20. He treats me like a queen. Previous to our relationship, he had a girlfriend he used to open up to me about. I used to be very jealous of her. She knew we have been mates, so she made a degree of posting a number of footage of their PDAs on his social media, since we didn’t comply with one another.
Quick-forward two years: Abby, I can’t cease obsessing over her! I take into consideration her continuously and evaluate myself to her. I stalk her social media web page. Ben has by no means given me a purpose to not belief him, so why am I nonetheless bothered by her?
She has moved on and is in one other relationship. How can I lastly stop obsessing about her and transfer ahead? I don’t really feel this manner about his different exes, however for some purpose, this one will get below my pores and skin. I don’t need him to seek out out what I’ve been doing. I actually need assistance. Any recommendation? — INSECURE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR INSECURE: In mild of the truth that your boyfriend’s ex is fortunately in one other relationship, this obsession is known as a waste of your time and vitality. Though you should still really feel threatened, the girl is not your competitors. Whether or not your challenge is insecurity or lack of vanity, it’s time to get up and acknowledge that BEN CHOSE YOU OVER HER. When you can’t settle for that and calm down, you might want to debate it with a licensed psychotherapist for assist to cease cyberstalking her. She could also be part of your boyfriend’s previous, however please don’t proceed making her a part of your current.
DEAR ABBY: Now we have three grandchildren, and we really feel strongly in regards to the significance of a faculty training. When the primary one graduated from highschool, we gave him $500 for commencement, plus a further $1,500 for use for college-related bills. He had already indicated that he was enrolling in school.
When the second graduated, we gave him a $500 commencement reward. As a result of he had dedicated to becoming a member of the Navy, we assured him that he would additionally obtain $1,500 if and when he enrolled in school. Since then, we’ve got been accused of not respecting his profession alternative, displaying favoritism and different accusations too quite a few to checklist right here.
Are we ogres for wanting and inspiring our grandchildren to attend school? We’d like your opinion. — WELL-MEANING IN THE WEST
DEAR WELL-MEANING: Your mistake has been not bearing in mind that your grandchildren are people. Your second grandson is prone to discover his profession path as a part of his navy service. One may argue that you’re favoring the grandchild who’s following the profession path you might be biased towards, and from that perspective, it does seem you might be taking part in favorites. It’s possible you’ll need to rethink what you might be doing. Your Navy-bound grandson could have a necessity for that cash sooner or later.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To obtain a set of Abby’s most memorable — and most ceaselessly requested — poems and essays, ship your identify and mailing tackle, plus test or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Expensive Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Transport and dealing with are included within the worth.)
